If a divorce happens, one of the more challenging parts of the separation can be divorcing each other's families. Even in amicable divorces, parents may feel obligated to disassociate from their grown child's ex out of a sense of loyalty to their offspring. That doesn't mean that feelings of affection stop between in-laws, though, and you may find yourself wanting to pay your final respects after a former mother-in-law or father-in-law passes away. Here are the dos and don'ts of attending a cremation service of in-laws at a place like Romero Family Funeral Home Corp.
Do Reach Out to Your Ex Beforehand
It's important to reach out to your ex to express your sympathy before attending your former in-law's cremation service. When you do so, be sure that you let them know about your intentions to attend the memorial service. Listen to what they think about the situation. If you were not very close to your in-laws, it's best to defer to what your ex wants. After all, the loss of a parent can be one of the most painful times in one's life. If you really want to go, however, it is okay to delicately explain that going to the cremation service is something you need to do. It's best that they know to expect you if you are going to be there.
Don't Respond to Rudeness or Passive-Aggression
When attending the cremation service of a former in-law, it is possible that there will still be some hard feelings among family members who may feel loyal to your ex. It can be extremely painful to be around people who used to be accepting but now appear to be hostile. If people become rude or passive-aggressive, resist all urges to respond to it, though. Since they are likely in mourning from their own close relationship to the recently deceased loved one, they may be acting irrationally, and the cremation service is not the right environment to call them out on their bad behavior. If it really bugs you, address it with them at a different place and time.
Do Bring a Gift or Make a Donation in Memory of the Deceased
Depending on the preferences of the immediate family of your former in-law, you may choose to make a donation or send flowers on the day of the cremation service. Showing that you care and are paying attention to the preferences of the family can be comforting and show that you care. Although things may be strained between you and your ex, difficult times can bring people together, and making a simple but strong action in loving memory of the deceased person can go a long way to bring comfort.
Finally, keep in mind that it is going to take a bit of grace to attend the cremation service of a former in-law if things were difficult in the divorce. No matter what the situation is, though, you may be able to say your final good-bye to a former mother-in-law or father-in-law that you love. Follow these dos and don'ts to keep strife to a minimum and best support all the mourners who share your grief at this loss.